neklok

don't ask me how it happened. the gash. don't ask me how i ended up with one. the gash. don't ask me what the fuck. the gash.

yes, i have a gash.

but you can't see it because it's a gash on the inside, see.

i am at an all-time financial low in my life and, fuck, it's pretty lame.

rock bottom.

know the neighborhood?

i do.

now.

yeah, down here at rock bottom things are pretty cool. i dig the good-god-man-you're-fucked wallpaper and the christ-how'd-you-get-into-this-one loveseat. i look around the room and see other unhappy faces. why talk when you can mope? sometimes it feels good to mope. to just say Fuck to the world. Fuck.

yeah i'm in a bind and if you have $35,000 I could really use it.

no, my problems aren't that excessive.

but the money would help.

i could cover my mistakes and hit the ground running.

to ireland, scotland, and england. i'll send you a yorkshire pudding.

yeah, gots me a bit of financial bind stirrin' about me head. i hate money. but i love money. i hate money. but i love what it could get me if i had lots of it. financial units. they run the world and kill as many dreams as they inflate.

we all end up in the same place, it's only the paths that differ.

shit, in the immortal words of mr. jack black: "that shit came off of the top of my fucking head y'all"

Hello from my new time zone, Mountain Time! It's quite nice, not as extreme as EST or PST.

Good God I'm sorry to have left my rant about the ex-roomate up for so long. It was fresh and I wanted to preserve it I guess.

However, I turned 28 on 11/5. HoweverEver, it wasn't such a happy birthday because of the election results. The only rational thing I could think to do was drink myself to black out while drawing skulls with pastels. It was a dark night.

My friend Andy has the quote of the year (in my opinion):

"I'm not gonna let four more years of Bush harsh my buzz."

Neither, I hope, will the nation because for those of us who didn't want W back, we must now be high for 4 years in order to cope with 1) George W. Bush in office, and 2) No Will Ferrell on SNL.

Hello. I am finally alone and the silence is quenching me. I was thirsty for it. Where should I begin? When I moved to Tucson, AZ from Santa Barbara, CA I invited a girl I had met in Santa Barbara to come with me. She was gonna move away from SB as well, and since we were hanging out and swapping spit and stuff I figured that her moving out to the desert with me might just be a wonderfully crazy idea. Little did I know that the idea wasn't the only thing I'd discover was crazy.

I'm considering this my Never-Judge-A-Book... life lesson because while she was/is a dropdead gorgeous girl, she was quite fucked and strange on the inside. I'll spare you the mundane details and get right to the good stuff.

About a week before she left (last Sunday) we got in a huge fight. I'm not one to usually get in yelling match, but we had at it. A couple of the things she said to me were absolutely hilarious.

1. She said that I was gay, as in homosexual, and meant it as a put-down (isn't that fucked up?).
(My response: "Well, if I don't want you for a girlfriend, then I must be gay, I would HAVE to be gay, right? You're insane! Plus, ven if I was gay, which I am not (see chapter on erections during makeout sessions), why on Earth would you're saying that make any sense whatsoever?!?")
2. She said I am fat.
(My response: "I'm 6'2" and I weigh 180lbs. If anything, I'm skinny. Try again")

After the yellfest she broke down and apologized for saying all the things she thought had hurt my feelings (they hadn't since her points were so off the wall and unfounded). At this point I'm just thinking "get this girl out of my hair".

The last few days were friendlier, and I guess you could say I'm still friends with her, but I must say I'm thankful to have this place to myself. If all "hot chicks" are as high maintainence and "princessy" as her, then I think I'm all about the girl with the great personality and sense of humor.

The moral of this story is: Breasts will eventually sag and asses will eventually flatten, so give importance to things such as personality, sense of humor, and creative abilities when considering a life partner.

i've had strange, strange dreams lately about all sorts of differently fleshy things. that's right. fleshy things. is it strange to dream of flesh? probably. is it strange to write about here? probably.

i've been in the desert for nearly a fortnight now and i absolutely love it. there is an inordinate amount of space here and it's relaxing. the sky is vast, stretching from one corner of your eye to the other. the clouds are silver white, gigantic, and ride the winds as if they enjoy it. the mountains shoot up and out of the desert floor with a quiet violence. the evenings are spectacular, hues of pink, red, magenta, and purple spashing themselves over rock faces and a distant vistas. it's all very soothing.

the heat actually isn't so bad either. not as bad as i thought it would be because it's so dry. it doesn't suffocate in the way the humidity of, say, the amazon basin does. you simply don't go out during the hot parts of the day unless you have to. that, of course, has it's inconveniences, but they are made up for in other ways. ie, there is something simply luxurious about sitting on the porch in nothing but boxer shorts drinking an ice cold beer looking at the stars and listening to the wind chimes.

Hi. I'm moving at the end of the month to a different state. A new state. I'm gonna give the Southwest a shot. For more details you'll have to inquire. Hasta luego.

There are three key components of the Coachella Valley Music and Arts Festival that nearly make it more of an endurance test than a pleasant way to spend 48 hours of your life.

First there's the Sun. It feels closer in the Coachella Valley. It floods your eyes with copious amounts of light, blasts your skin with its wicked solar radiation, and sucks up all the moisture your body can possiby yield without physically shutting down. The Sun is omnipresent and inescapable and because of this there truly is nothing more enjoyable than dusk, as you watch with glee as it helplessly moves below the horizon line and on to some other section of the planet that you could quite frankly care less about.

Then there's the Heat, dry and blanketing. At around 8AM the mercury is laughing its way past 90 degrees en route to stop ascending somewhere just past the 100 degree mark in an hour or two, and there it will hover for the rest of the day. In these conditions the grassy swarth of the Coachella festival grounds becomes a giagantic frying pan, cooking those with sunscreen and charring those without. Human beings aren't meant to exist at such temperatures but, like the Sun, there is no way to escape it so you simply deal with it by drinking water, water, and more water; even if what is in your water bottle is more suitable for a bath or hot tub than cool refreshment.

Finally, there's the Standing. Coachella runs from 12PM to 12AM and you must stand a great deal if you're at all interested in actually seeing the bands you've paid to see. Your body wants to melt into the turf of the festival grounds, but your feet won't let you and after a few hours of doing nothing but standing or walking your feet will let you know what they're feeling; the sensory result of battling the perpendicular pull of gravity. It is a deep and thorough aching and by the time the last act on Sunday finishes their set you will feel every step you take.

However, no matter how brutal these things sound I guarantee you that most of the 65,000+ festival goers will tell you that attending the event was well worth the suffering inflicted by the physical circumstances that come with holding a major rock festival in the middle of the desert. In fact, some would probably agree that day one alone would be worth two full days in the Coachella Valley because not only did Coachella's first day offer the only U.S. performance by Radiohead, but precluding Radiohead's performance was the band essentially responsible for Radiohead's (and countless other band's) existence in the first place, the newly reunited Pixies (not to mention the countless other acts such as Kraftwork, Stereolab, The Rapture, and the (International) Noise Conspiracy).

The Pixies were well-rehearsed and tight, taking the stage to a thunderous roar and delivering a set filled with classics such as "Where Is My Mind?" and "Gigantic". You never would've thought that this was the same band that dismantled in the early 90's due to the fizzling relationship between Frank Black and Kim Deal. Adoration was in the air and the Pixies gave everybody in attendance exactly what they wanted.

After a brief pause to change the stage set-up Radiohead took the stage. By this time the Sun was gone and the deep blue of the warm desert night welcomed a set where both music and lighting were choreographed to perfection. Radiohead is generally regarded a special band and they proved why with a set including songs from every one of their albums. Their magnificent rock cresendos were coupled with either the cool glow of indigo blue or the hot burn of magenta orange. Radiohead delivered on every note and provided the rare opportunity to behold what occurs when musical genius meets unbridled passion.

(...to be continued)

i aint done written much in here lately. so hello! i'm alive, i'm well. i've been exercising like a crazy person and i think i've lost about 15lbs. i cant be certain though, cuz i dont believe in scales. i'm trying to slim down to an unresistable weight. i'll know it when i get there. got some buddies coming down for coachella and i'm very excited about the last wknd of april. too bad wilco cancelled but migraine headaches is a great excuse in terms of rockstar excuses. eternal sunshine for the spotless mind was an amazing film in my opinion. the new modest mouse record is fantastic as well as nearly every band playing coachella. check the lineup. i can't wait to hit the dessert and ROCK!

http://neklok.textamerica.com/
Photoblogging is terribly addictive. I bid you welcome to my world, if you choose to enter. I'm gonna have fun with this new Nokia 3650, I can tell.

I've actually just sold my Nikon 35mm, my Horseman 4X5 large format, and a bunch of extraneous photo supplies. With the extra cash, I've bought this new camera phone as well as, this is the real treat, an 800mHz, 610MB RAM, 30GB, Combo drive iBook in a bundle that included a free 510MB memory upgrade (hence the 610MB), a free Epson C84 photo printer, and a free leather sachel for the iBook. All the extras come in the form of rebates. If you haven't checked it before, http://www.macprices.com is a wonderful resource. All in all I paid just over $1000 for my new iBook with all the other stuff included (well, after I get the rebates).

The next purchase is recording gear, or a digital camera...got my eye on a Leica. Then, I'll be set.

By the way...

I just watched A Man Without A Past, a Scandanavian film. It was fantastic. I'm too tired to write more on it, but I'd classify it as a subdued melodrama. Similar to a Douglas Sirk film, like Written on the Wind (starring Robert Stack!), except that instead of excess the characters cope with having to little. It's a gorgeous film, the dialogue is wonderful and the lighting and framing is impeccable. It's about a guy who gets whopped on the head and forgets everything, he starts over with literally nothing and soon makes a new life for himself. He builds relationship with other destitutes and falls in love with a woman at the Salvation Army. I loved this film, one of the better ones I've seen this year.

Rent it. It's charming and extremly well done. Assuming, of course, that you enjoy such films.

Other great watches lately:

High Noon
Mr. Show Season 3
The Minus Man
Matchstick Men
In The Bedroom

Go to this site and give them something. I gave them $15 I can't really afford to lose, but I feel that changing the consitution of the United States to exclude those who quite possibly, maybe even definitely, could bring back some integrity to the word marriage is simply wrong. Marriage is a joke in our country, more than half end up in ugly divorces that erode families and tie up our legal system. Defining marriage as something that is only possible between a man and woman is talk that died when Eden disappeared, or at least when Ward Clever bit it.

If two people love each other, A) It's nobody's business but their own, and B) they should be able to declare that love to their country and subsequently to the world (especially when there are certain financial and health-related benefits). The government in a free society should not desire to intervene, nor should it have the power to, with the love life of its citizens. Lesbians, gays, bisexuals, and transgenders pay taxes just like the rest of us and deserve all the benefits that a heterosexual has access to.

This is discrimination at a national level and truly makes this following quote from Hunter S. Thompson ring more true than it ever has:

"And the whole Bush family, from Texas, should be boiled in poison oil."

i'm pretty sure i invented the term skin tube, use your imagination to figure out what it's another name for. i believe i also may have played a role in coining the term assquake, let me know if this is term is old news. why do i mention skin tube and assquake? well, at this point in my life it seems these two additions to our lexicon are all i have to offer society as a whole. skin tube and assquake. impressed?

I hate one thing on this Earth.
And it is the New York Yankees.

Check it out.


I'm pretty retarded right now, but I hope to change that.

Blonde Redhead's new record "Misery is a Butterfly" is fabulous. I'm not sure if it's out yet, as I (of course) located it online and downloaded the fuck out of it. However, I do plan on buying it. Just like I bought the Air record after it came out, even though I had heard it in its entirety before the release. I am I internet bragging? Download boasting? Don't mean to.

Blonde Redhead is a band I had always been curious about but just simply never listened to. I blame it on the sheer vastness of the musical landscape. Too many bands, too little time. My curiousity stemmed from Lee Renaldo's (Sonic Youth) involvement.

The singer (female) in Blonde Redhead has a style/sound/aesthetic that I'd wedge right between Bjork, the singer from Mum, and strangely enough the guy from Sigur Ros, Mum being the closest connection of the three. If you're a fan of any of those bands, find "Misery is a Butterfly" and give it a spin.

BTW, what do you call playing a MP3? Records spin, tapes play, CDs spin as well. What do MP3s do? Load?

This is cool.

And so is this.

And this.

And this.

Today I just feel cool. Ya know? I walk down the street and feel like people should be looking at me instead of at their shoes. Man, it's fucking weird feeling this cool. This rad. This awesome.

Ha.

That was a joke. I actually don't feel much of anything right now except for the need to go to the bathroom and read.

Hope you're well folks!

hi.

not much to say today.
but i'll try:

1. i think martha is gonna do prison time, she's in deep.

2. i think bush needs a one way ticket back to texas. i dont give a fuck who is president, but get him the crap out of office. if our nation decides he's the best man for the job, i'm prepared to renounce my citizenship and declare myself a citzen of nowhere. (or perhaps i'll secede from the union and form a country like david cross' in mr. show season 2, "newfreeland") i can't believe he threatened to use the constitution against same sex couples that want their country to recognize their love for each other. if there is a god please force president bush to have a dream tonite where he tongues dick cheney while donald rumsfield fingers his ass and please have president bush enjoy this dream so much that he wakes up crying and pool que erect.

3. i think that if it's okay to show people killing each other on network TV, then it should certainly be okay to show a nipple. why is our society so backwards in terms of nudity? in other countries, britain for example, you can find nipples on tv and people don't flip out about it. maybe twisted fucks wouldn't rape other people if nipples and penises and vaginas weren't locked inside society's cookie jar? we all have nipples. men have a penis. women a vagina. birds have a beak. elephants have a trunk. dolphins have flippers.

4. i think that, seeing as i've been single since september, it may be time to do something about it.

5. i think that coachella 04 could be one of the greatest rock festivals in the history of great rock festivals.

6. i think i'm gonna stop writing this now...

this coachella lineup could quite possibly be achieving erection in yours truly's shorts...

copious amounts of excellent music in the desert

copious

The person behind this is an abso-fucking-lutely ridiculous waste of nipple flesh (intended pun). The person in question claims to have had to "suffer outrage, anger, embarrassment and serious injury" after witnessing Janet's PROMOTIONAL, errr, accidental nipple flashing.

What's wrong with people like this? How do you get "seriously injured" watching TV? Was she skinning a deer in her living room, watching the super bowl and WHAM! a nipple flashes on her screen and she slices her own arm?

Radiohead
Air
The Pixies Reunion
The Flaming Lips
Mogwai
Wilco

and more forthcoming....


This lineup alone proves that Coachella is far and away the best rock festival in America. And I plan on being there (again). Sweet jesus what a lineup!